There is a scene in the movie Good Will Hunting where Will Hunting, the main character, is eating with his girlfriend and she asks him how his mind works. He responds by giving an example of Beethoven and how he could sit at a piano and just play. Beethoven saw the piano and it made sense to him just like Will could look at an equation or a science paper in the same sense. Everyone seems to have an area of life where they can just play. Somehow, someway it just makes sense.
This is what sports are like for me. I can watch Football, Basketball, Soccer, Hockey, etc and I connect on a level I cannot explain. For me sports are more than just a game. On an emotional level it's a lifestyle, an obsession and a drug. Some people can sit back and enjoy the game without getting attached. Others get so angry and amped up that they scream, throw things and let it affect their entire day or week. I'm somewhere in between those two poles. Sports get me up in the morning and light a fire under me. Sports are also drain my emotions and stress me out. My writing and passion truly are a double-edged sword at times.
It's just a game though right? If it's just a game why has our society become so enveloped with sports? Why do 60,000 fans pack Soldier Field on Sundays to watch 22 guys running around hitting each other? Is it the spectacle factor or are there a bigger connections involved? My answer is that it's more than just a game. It's more than just a game for me. It's feeling a part of something bigger than myself. It's my city vs your city. It's bragging rights for the week. It's a way to escape reality and live vicariously through the team. I can't be the only one who felt like Hester running that kickoff back in the Super Bowl. Or Jay throwing the overtime touchdown to Aromashodu. Or Patrick Kane celebrating like a kid after winning the Stanley Cup. Sports can be a feeling of invincibility, hope, loyalty, success or whatever emotion resonates with you. One thing is for sure though, sports are more than just a game. They are a true definition of reality television where anything can happen.
On an intellectual level I can debate sports all day long. I'm a journalist and while I have a voice in the media I'm nothing more than a fan with a pen. My opinion only seems to matter because I put my thoughts in writing and with one click of the mouse it's available for anyone with the internet (and some lunacy) to read. I'm an employed blogger with a hallucinogenic sense of entitlement.
At the end of the day though I'm still a fan. My pieces of writing are opinionated, but they are from a fans perspective. I am not a news source. I try to write in a way that fans will connect with. I don't write critically to be a hack nor do I write glowingly to be a homer. I write because I feel my thoughts and ideas will provoke debate and critical thinking. I try to delve deeper than what lies on the surface and provide depth to topics. I could've been a fan and had an outside job, so why then am I writing about something that seems so primitive? I write about sports because it's my passion and I'm always asking 'why.' I try to be a channel of information from the sports world to your homes. I try to connect you with things that you don't get from pre and post game articles. I try to escape from the cannon fodder that has been shot all over your desktops.
That's not to say that I don't have my quirks. I'm passionate to a fault. I over analyze things that should have a simple answer. I obsess about the same things over and over again (Derrick Rose's potential and Lovie Smith's ineptness). I am sometimes so dead set in my opinion that I don't listen to what others have to say. I am far from a perfect writer, although my ego thinks I am. My conscience usually puts me in my place though and in the grand scheme of things I'm no different than my readers.
I like to think sometimes that my writing has an effect on my favorite teams (or my yelling at the television). I imagine Brian Urlacher, Jonathan Toews, Derrick Rose and Bruce Weber reading my articles and taking them to heart. Then my mental editor slaps me out of la-la land and the realism hits. The day that the Bears or Bulls start losing because of what I write will be the day I'll actually believe we affect their jobs, but that won't stop me from expressing my opinion.
It dawned on me today though that I'm much more effective as a fan cheering at the United Center than I am at my computer pumping out opinions. Players are going to embrace the roof lifting off the Madhouse, not my short sided opinion on why they lost the previous night. That realization keeps me in check and prevents me from getting to far above the board. I am a fan first and I need not ever forget that. Journalist is just a job description. Fandom is a lifestyle.
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